What to do if you hate Miami!!!!!!!!!!!

[IhateMiami]

This if for those of you who are superstitious and are ready to take any measure to bring down the Heat and their bitchass players.

One of my friends (ugh, former friend) tried this technique with great success. Here is how it works.

Empty out a plastic bottle and rinse it clean with water. Then, tear off any labels on it. Fill it up with water. Now, use a black marker and write the name of the player you want to mess up and choke. Last, place this filled bottle in the freezer.

Enjoy watching your hated bball player suck it.

Anyone calling up which players they are going to try this powerful technique on? With 10 or so of us USING THIS TECHNIQUE and the Pistons playing DDEEEEEETTTTTRRRROOOIIIITTTTTTTT B A S K E T B A L L, the Heat will be ripped into smitherines in Game 2. Maybe Wade will injure his hip or groin and Mourning will tear his calf.

Oh, and by the way, FUCK THE MOTHERFUCKING MIAMI HEAT. I hope their fucking players die in a bus accident on the way to the Palace. Actually, I don't want them to die but I hope their bus has mechanical problems and they have to walk a few miles to the Palace so that they do not have fresh legs anymore. I remember saying that I wanted a Charlotte Hornet's player dead (Bobby Phils) and he actually died in a car accident while drag racing. Not that I literally wanted him dead. After all, he is a fellow human. Right?

Hey what happened to the threats the Lakers received when they were staying at their hotel in Detroit during the 2004 finals? I remember there being disruptive noisy behavior by Pistons' fans outside their hotel windows, which prevented the Lakers' players from getting a good night's sleep. They also received threatening phone calls. I say the same happens to these motherfuckers from Miami.