What to do if you hate Miami!!!!!!!!!!!

[IhateMiami]

This if for those of you who are superstitious and are ready to take any measure to bring down the Heat and their bitchass players.

One of my friends (ugh, former friend) tried this technique with great success. Here is how it works.

Empty out a plastic bottle and rinse it clean with water. Then, tear off any labels on it. Fill it up with water. Now, use a black marker and write the name of the player you want to mess up and choke. Last, place this filled bottle in the freezer.

Enjoy watching your hated bball player suck it.

Anyone calling up which players they are going to try this powerful technique on? With 10 or so of us USING THIS TECHNIQUE and the Pistons playing DDEEEEEETTTTTRRRROOOIIIITTTTTTTT B A S K E T B A L L, the Heat will be ripped into smitherines in Game 2. Maybe Wade will injure his hip or groin and Mourning will tear his calf.

Oh, and by the way, FUCK THE MOTHERFUCKING MIAMI HEAT. I hope their fucking players die in a bus accident on the way to the Palace. Actually, I don't want them to die but I hope their bus has mechanical problems and they have to walk a few miles to the Palace so that they do not have fresh legs anymore. I remember saying that I wanted a Charlotte Hornet's player dead (Bobby Phils) and he actually died in a car accident while drag racing. Not that I literally wanted him dead. After all, he is a fellow human. Right?

Hey what happened to the threats the Lakers received when they were staying at their hotel in Detroit during the 2004 finals? I remember there being disruptive noisy behavior by Pistons' fans outside their hotel windows, which prevented the Lakers' players from getting a good night's sleep. They also received threatening phone calls. I say the same happens to these motherfuckers from Miami.

[Hermy]

I save my bottles for gravity bongs. Sorry.

[Taymelo]

The Lakers players didn't receive threats or anything of a violent nature.

It was simply nice, calm, friendly college kids parked in the parking garage next to the hotel, blowing their car horns at 2am so the players couldn't sleep.

[Matt]

The Lakers players didn't receive threats or anything of a violent nature.

It was simply nice, calm, friendly college kids parked in the parking garage next to the hotel, blowing their car horns at 2am so the players couldn't sleep.

i was listening to 95.5FM and the DJ (big boy?) was trying to get together people to do that to the Heat last night....not sure what happened.

[Anthony]

Fuck all that. Just if they're losing change your seat or turn your shirt inside out

[Glenn]

Welcome to WTFDetroit.com.

You've been swatted.

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[Black Dynamite]

i want a goal tend on sheer hate of miami.

[Darth Thanatos]

So Memo make basket, Memo happy?

[Black Dynamite]

if you hate miami. buy a dog, name it dwayne wade, and drown it.

Go to a graveyard, dig up the dryest fossil, and put Zo's jersey on it.

Send a shemale hooker to Shaqs room and tip off a greaseball reporter to show up right when the tranny does.

Punch a random Heat fan in the face and kick his children in their throats. apologize later.

drop the fattest bottle of laxative you can in Wade's food at whatever restaurant he eats at, then watch him shit his designer stockings in public.

Repeat the same process to Flexo's steroid protein shake.

Beat the living shit out of an Orlando Magic fan in a Darko Jersey to show you mean business.

Kidnap Zo, surgically remove his kidney and give it to the last guy on the waiting list who will probally be the most deserving. then give him SVG's kidney in its place.

Burn down the dolphins stadium to reiterate that you mean business.

Pay miami strippers in pennies and tell them Pat Riley coming in the night before decreased their value on the client to stripper market.

put a wade jersey on a turtle and slit its throat.

disclaimer:i dont endorse any of these suggestions. i do endorse hating the heat though.

[DennyMcLain]

if you hate miami. buy a dog, name it dwayne wade, and drown it.

Go to a graveyard, dig up the dryest fossil, and put Zo's jersey on it.

Send a shemale hooker to Shaqs room and tip off a greaseball reporter to show up right when the tranny does.

Punch a random Heat fan in the face and kick his children in their throats. apologize later.

drop the fattest bottle of laxative you can in Wade's food at whatever restaurant he eats at, then watch him shit his designer stockings in public.

Repeat the same process to Flexo's steroid protein shake.

Beat the living shit out of an Orlando Magic fan in a Darko Jersey to show you mean business.

Kidnap Zo, surgically remove his kidney and give it to the last guy on the waiting list who will probally be the most deserving. then give him SVG's kidney in its place.

Burn down the dolphins stadium to reiterate that you mean business.

Pay miami strippers in pennies and tell them Pat Riley coming in the night before decreased their value on the client to stripper market.

put a wade jersey on a turtle and slit its throat.

disclaimer:i dont endorse any of these suggestions. i do endorse hating the heat though.

There's nothing wrong with a little sunshine, 'specially when it shines 320 days out of the year.